本·威尔邦德VariousEpisodeTitleWritten byOriginal airdate101"Series 1, Episode 1"Lucy Clarke, Dave Cohen, Susie Donkin, Jon Holmes and Ben Ward16April2009Song:Gorgeous Georgians:"The 4Georges: Born 2 Rule" (boyband parody)       Lyrics by Dave Cohen with additional lyrics by Laurence Rickard and Caroline Norris       Performed by Ben Willbond, Mathew Baynton, Simon Farnaby and Jim Howick      Sketches:Rotten Romans: The pre-gladiatorial custom of staging fights at funerals       Imagine spot: High school for aspiring gladiators      Frightful First World War:Lice wars (partly animated)       "Ready Steady Feast": German wartime food substitutes (parody ofReady Steady Cook)      Putrid Pirates:TheBlack Spot       CaptainBlack Bartlists off his rules to the new recruits      Savage Stone Age:Stone Age Tool Set (advertisement)       The (not-so-)carefully reconstructed funeral of a tribal chief      Vicious Vikings:"Historical Hairdressers": Ear spoons       Video game: Warrior! Viking vs Monk      Gorgeous Georgians:Special guestMeera Syalis the storyteller of Twisted Fairytales: "The Three Little Pigs" (window tax)       How to vote in Georgian elections      102"Series 1, Episode 2"Mark Blakewill, Lucy Clarke, James Harris, George Poles, Steve Punt, George Sawyer and Ben Ward23April2009Song:Terrible Tudors: "The Wives ofHenry VIII: Divorced Beheaded & Died"       Lyrics by Terry Deary       Performed by Ben Willbond      Sketches:Measly Middle Ages:Shouty Man: New! Pee-sil Non-Bio Laundry Detergent (parody ofPersil)       City officials discuss how to curb defecating out of windows--while walking below them      Savage Stone Age:"Historical Hospital": Tattoo and trepanning treatments       Caveman Art Show: Preserving the head of a dead relative      Woeful Second World War:Mary, the heroic carrier pigeon(animated)       The commandant of a German POW camp tries to keep a determined British officer from escaping      Slimy Stuarts:Stupid Deaths:Francis Bacon       "My Stuart Family" tries to keep up with the neighbors with the help of some exotic new foods (parody ofMy Family)      Awful Egyptians:King Pepi's Super Sticky Anti-Fly Honey Slave (advertisement)       Imagine spot: An over-entitled pharaoh insists on the invention of the pyramid       Twisted Fairytales: "The Princess and the Pea" (eliminating rivals to the throne)Terrible Tudors:"This Is Your Reign": King Henry VIII reunites with his friends, advisors and wives--too bad he's had most of them executed (parody ofThis Is Your Life)      103"Series 1, Episode 3"Mark Blakewill, James Harris, Jon Holmes, Steve Punt, Ben Ward and Arnold Widdowson30April2009Song:Awful Egyptians: "Making a Mummy"       Performed by Jim Howick      Sketches:Wicked Witches:Let a random old lady take the blame for your bad luck with Witchfinder's Direct (infomercial)       Twisted Fairytales: "The Frog Prince" (witchcraft)       The Middle Ages (Witch)Craft Show demonstrates how accusations can also be used to get revenge      Vicious Vikings:Top Three Weird Viking Beliefs: the origin of the first man and woman, life after death (in eitherValhallaor Hell) and the story ofThor searching for his stolen hammer(partially animated)      Potty Pioneers:Captain Robert Scott is well-prepared for his disastrousrace to the South Pole      Awful Egyptians:A picky widow chooses a mummification style for her husband       Shouty Man: New! All-Purpose Ancient Egyptian Mummy      Rotten Romans:Nerouses Christians as candles       Imagine spot: HHTV Sport: Lions vs Christians      Slimy Stuarts:HHTV News: Charles I's execution       "Historical Wife Swap": The Miserables, aPuritanfamily, swap withCavalierfamily the Merrys post-Restoration(parody ofWife Swap)      104"Series 1, Episode 4"Dave Cohen, Greg Jenner, Jon Holmes, Steve Punt and Ben Ward7May2009Song:Terrible Tudors: "Terrible Tudors"       Performed by Martha Howe-Douglas and Ben Willbond      Sketches:Smashing Saxons:"Saxon EastEnders" finds a ruler trying to mediate a family feud via the newWeregeldlaw (parody ofEastEnders)       A paranormal researcher attempts to locate the source of a haunting in "Anglo-Saxon Ghost Hunt" (parody ofGhost Hunt)      Vile Victorians:"Ready Steady Feast":Dr William Buckland, famed eater of weird things--including the preserved heart of a king       Stupid Deaths:Matthew Webb      Frightful First World War:TNT Hair Dye (advertisement)       Dodgy War Inventions No       16:Zeppelinairship (animated)      Groovy Greeks:"Historical Hospital":Hippocratesdemonstrates his unorthodox diagnostic techniques      Alexander the Greatand his adviserHephaestiondebate whether or not to name yet another cityAlexandria      Rotten Romans:HHTV News: Bob Hale's Roman Report      Caligulatries improving his image with the help of a speechwriter      Terrible Tudors:Elizabeth I's habit of nicknaming her courtiers       Oh Yea! Magazine: Execution Special      105"Series 1, Episode 5"Mark Blakewill, James Harris, Jon Holmes, George Poles, Steve Punt and Arnold Widdowson14May2009Song:No song is included in this episode (for the only time in series history)      Sketches:Awful Egyptians:Pharaoh Phashion magazine offers beauty tips for peasants and aristocrats       Mouse Fresh Max toothpaste (advertisement)      Ruthless Rulers:Louis XI and the Pig Piano, with special guestSimon Cowell(animated)      Measly Middle Ages:HHTV News: taking a census for theDomesday Book      William the Conqueror's increasingly unusual funeral      Rotten Romans: Caligula declares war againstPoseidon, god of the sea      Savage Stone Age:HHTV News: Bob Hale's Stone Age Report       Imagine spot: AHomo sapienscouple invite the localNeanderthalsto dinner      Smashing Saxons:"Court of Historical Law":Ethelred the Unreadydetermines a horse thief's guilt viaordeal by cake       Twisted Fairytales: "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" (other punishments for theft)      Gorgeous Georgians:Join the Georgian Navy! (advertisement)       "Historical Hospital": 'Master of medicaments' Montague Fuzzlepeck diagnoses a patient      106"Series 1, Episode 6"Greg Jenner, Simon Littlefield, Laurence Rickard, George Sawyer and Ben Ward21May2009Song:Gorgeous Georgians: "A Gorgeous Georgian Lady"       Lyrics by Terry Deary (adapted from his bookGorgeous Georgians)       Performed by Martha Howe-Douglas      Sketches:Measly Middle Ages:A hapless thief tries to mug aflagellant       Highlights from a typical medievalbestiaryare spotlighted on "The Made-Up Planet" (animated)      Vile Victorians:Be an exploited child labourer and get absolutely no compensation from Victorian Claims Direct       Chimney Sweeps (advertisement)      Gorgeous Georgians:"Historical Wife Swap": Lord and Lady Posh from the Manor swap with the Peasant family of Poorville      Potty Pioneers:Stupid Deaths:Franz Reichelt      Rotten Romans:Imagine spot: Things to remember when you're a galley slave (parody of airline passenger announcements)       Dodgy War Inventions No       7:the Onager(animated)      Frightful First World War:Twisted Fairytales: "The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe" (urinating on boots to soften the leather)       A soldier's frantic hunt for his lucky charms might prove lucky itself      Groovy Greeks:Chat show "Greek Myth Talk" tells the lurid story ofKronosand his attempt at filicide      107"Series 1, Episode 7"Toby Davies, Susie Donkin, Jon Holmes, Chris Pell and Ben Ward28May2009Song:Nasty Knights: "I'm a Knight" (Monty Pythonpastiche)       Performed by Mathew Baynton, Steve Punt and Jim Howick      Sketches:Terrible Tudors:Oh Yea! Magazine: Royal Special       "Historical Hospital": Treating a blister rapidly turns fatal      Groovy Greeks:The story ofHelen of Troyretold as inner-city melodrama, complete withchavaccents       Imagine spot: Smuggling theTrojan horsepast the guards--apparently, much simpler than you'd think      Measly Middle Ages:"That Was Entertainment!":Joustingon ice and other peculiar past-time fun      Woeful Second World War:Twisted Fairytales: "Cinderella" (clothes rationing takes its toll)       Fake nylon stockings made with gravy and eye-liner      Awful Egyptians:Imagine spot: Selling pyramid real estate       Meet the Egyptian gods (animated)      Vile Victorians:Imagine spot: A little girl must wash in dirty water       Parliamentarians try to find a solution to--or at least, a way to ignore--theGreat Stinkof 1858      108"Series 1, Episode 8"Lucy Clarke, Dave Cohen, Susie Donkin, Jon Holmes, Greg Jenner, Simon Littlefield, George Poles, Steve Punt and Ben Ward4June2009Song:Savage Stone Age: "Caveman Love" (1950'sdoo-wopparody)       Performed by Susie Donkin and Sarah Hadland, with Jim Howick, Ben Willbond and Mathew Baynton      Sketches:Vicious Vikings:Stupid Deaths:Edmund II       Valhalla Tours: Come to England for the burning and pillaging, stay for the plunder!Savage Stone Age:"Ready Steady Feast": Sampling the best in cave foods      Rotten Romans:FearsomeGaulishleaderVercingetorixis unexpectedly stymied by bad weather in "The Battle ofAvaricum" (movie trailer)       The invention ofdecimationas a military punishment      Smashing Saxons:"Historical Hairdressers": Hair treatments       Holiday presents demonstrate the many useful uses of dung      Gorgeous Georgians: This is Georgian Food (parody ofMarks & Spenceradvertisements)       A Georgian dentist prepares to replace a tooth      Frightful First World War:Outlining the causes of the war, as simply as possible--that is, not very       The evolution of the fighter plane (animated)      Measly Middle Ages:ThePeasant's Revoltis led by the confusingly namedWat Tyler       The rules ofchivalry, and more importantly how to find the loopholes      109"Series 1, Episode 9"Dave Cohen, Jon Holmes, Steve Punt and Ben Ward11June2009SongTerrible Teachers: "It's Not True!"       Performed by Mathew Baynton and Martha Howe-Douglas      Sketches:Terrible Tudors:Weather forecast       Twisted Fairytales: "Thumbelina" (dirty streets)Vile Victorians:Shouty Man: New! Victorian Child Chimney Cleaner       An inspector gets a rundown from strict teachers on school punishments      Rotten Romans:Make all your wishes come true (sort of) with Roman Gods Direct       A general tries desperately to appease all the right gods prior to battle      Vicious Vikings:Words We Get From the: Vikings       Debunking the myth of horned helmets (animated)      Groovy Greeks:"Historical Wife Swap": EffeteAtheniansvs       legendarily toughSpartans      Slimy Stuarts:HHTV News: Mike Peabody reports on efforts to cope with theGreat Plague of London       Ye Sun newspaper: Plague Special       "Ready Steady Feast": How to start theGreat Fire of London      110"Series 1, Episode 10"Susie Donkin, Steve Punt, Mark Shillabeer, Ben Ward and Arnold Widdowson18June2009SongMeasly Middle Ages: "The Plague Song" (musical theatreparody)       Lyrics by Terry Deary       Performed by Ben Willbond and Katy Wix with Mathew Baynton and Sarah Hadland      Sketches:Rotten Romans:Sponge on a Stick and Viper Deodorant (advertisements)      Vile Victorians:An upper-class couple are conned by a thief using street slang       Great Victorian Inventions:The Car(animated)      Terrible Tudors:"Ready Steady Feast": Comparing the diets of rich and poor       "Historical Hairdressers": The latest skin treatments      Cut-Throat Celts:Home decorating with severed heads       Video game: Warrior! Romans vs Celts      Measly Middle Ages:Twisted Fairytales: "The Pied Piper of Hamelin" (plague spreading)      Ruthless Rulers:"This Is Your Reign":Napoleon Bonaparteis reunited with his rather unexpectedly accented family      Groovy Greeks:Spartan warriors suit up at the weapons store pre-battle       HHTV News: Mike Peabody live from theBattle of Thermopylae      111"Series 1, Episode 11"Dave Cohen, Jon Holmes, George Poles, Steve Punt & Ben Ward25June2009SongVile Victorians: "British Things"       Performed by Sarah Hadland and Mathew Baynton      Sketches:Terrible Tudors:Oh Yea! magazine: Royal Special       Imagine spot: Choosing the next royal executioner on "The Axe Factor2" (parody ofThe X Factor2)      Groovy Greeks:Stupid Deaths:General Pausanias       "Court of Historical Law":Dracoimposes his truly draconian punishments on an apple thief       Twisted Fairytales: "Sleeping Beauty" (disobeying Draco's non-idleness law in particular)      Vile Victorians:HHTV News: Bob Hale'sBritish EmpireReport      Vicious Vikings:Words We Get From the: Vikings       A returning warrior enthusiastically recitesbattle poetryto his distinctly sceptical friend      Slimy Stuarts:Bonfire safety tips withGuy Fawkes       HHTV News: TheEnglish Civil Warbreaks out      Measly Middle Ages:Stupid Deaths: TheGrim Reaperfinally gets fed up while processing the overflow of casualties from the plague, floods,Hundred Years' Waretc       "Ready Steady Feast": Live from theSiege of Orléans      112"Series 1, Episode 12"Dave Cohen, George Sawyer, Jon Holmes and Ben Ward2July2009SongGroovy Greeks: "We are Greek" (Flanders & Swannpastiche)       Performed by Mathew Baynton and Jim Howick      Sketches:Smashing Saxons:Mealtime charades in a monastery take an unexpected turn       The Monk Art Show: How to write like a monk--if you can survive the ink-making process      Vile Victorians:Schoolchildren have some very unusual names      Queen Victoriapitches her workout regime      Rotten Romans:The gladiator games run out of animals at the worst possible moment       Checking in with Execution Animals "Я" Us      Measly Middle Ages:Twisted Fairytales: "The Ugly Duckling" (why royalty alone were allowed to eat swans)       The Earl of Warwick checks on preparations for his dinner party      Groovy Greeks:The first play in history       Stupid Deaths:Aeschylus      Woeful Second World War:A prim couple must choose from a difficult set of inner-city evacuee children       Joining theHitler Youth--or else       Top Three Strangest Hitler Survival Rumours (animated)      113"Series 1, Episode 13"Dave Cohen, Jon Holmes and Ben Ward9July2009SongVile Victorians: "Burke & Hare"       Performed by Mathew Baynton with Jim Howick and Simon Farnaby      Sketches:Rotten Romans:A Roman chef is disgusted with the state of newly conquered Britain's cuisine on "Roman Kitchen Nightmares" (Gordon Ramseyparody)       A naive visitor is forced to use Rome's (very) public communal toilets      Vile Victorians:Florence Nightingalearrives at aCrimean hospitalclearly in need of her help      Awful Egyptians: "This Is Your Reign": SortingCleopatra's tangled family tree       The story ofHatshepsut, first female pharaoh      Terrible Tudors:The tumultuous history of theGlobe Theatre(animated)       The ghost ofRichard IIIchallengesWilliam Shakespeareover the historical accuracy ofthe playbased on the King's life      Vicious Vikings:HHTV News: Bob Hale's Viking Report       Stupid Deaths:Sigurd the Mighty      Gorgeous Georgians:John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich, "invents" thesandwich       HHTV Sport: Lice racing